“When someone says “you can’t”, or “You’ll never . . .”
Let me start this off by quoting the incomparable Napoleon Hill from Think and Grow Rich.
Never is a long time indeed!
Have you heard of Ernestine Schiumann Heink, my friend?
(commonly known as Mme Schuman Heink to some)
She was an Austrian born German American classical singer noted for the (and I am quoting again), “size, beauty, tonal richness, flexibility, and wide range of her voice”.
A highly accomplished singer that sang all of the world, and Hill featured her in his writings in Think and Grow Rich.
Early in her career, this amazing lady once visited the director of the Vienna Court Opera to have her voice “tested”.
To see if she “had it”, in other words.
The director (who was supposed to be an expert in matters related to singing) took one look at the young girl, and refused to even HEAR her.
She was dressed simply and rather awkwardly, and as is often the case, the Director made the mistake of “judging a book by it’s cover” — something that many people do, and that truly does seperate the great from the “run of the mill”.
Its NOT about how you look my friend — or even dress. Though those things that matter the FACT is its ultimately about if you can perform and get the job done (unless we’re talking modeling or acting, of course!).
“With such a face, and no personality at all, how can you ever expect to succeed in opera? My good child, give up the idea. Buy a sewing machine, and go to work. YOU CAN NEVER BE A SINGER!”
That is what Heink was told, and as for “what happened” in terms of never, well, the results speak for themselves!
NEVER TRULY IS A LONG TIME, my friend!
And this brings me to a central mistake that many people make while judging others — judging them solely on the basis of their appearance.
I don’t know if you’ve heard the story of Edwin Barnes and Thomas Edison.
Barnes, who had nothing but the clothes on his back (and fresh off a long train journey which he didnt even have the money to buy a ticket for) showed up dishevelled (to say the least) in Edison’s office, and demanded, of all things to be Edison’s partner.
The first thing that most people, and Edison himself probably would have done is to throw the man out of his office, if just for his bedraggled and ragged looking appearance, looking anything BUT a fit to be a partner of the world famous Edison.
But Edison didnt throw him out. He gave him a job as a cleaner, and five years later (during which NOT ONE RAY OF HOPE showed up in Barnes’s life with regard to becoming the great inventor’s partner) he DID finally accomplish his dreams and how!
I mention this just to show you the contrast between Edison and the opera director.
When quizzed about Barnes at a later stage (after his success), Edison candidly said that he didnt take him just at his appearance, although he was tempted to.
There was that SOMETHING about Barnes, as there was about Heink that Edison spotted — and the opera conductor did NOT.
Mr. Edison said, “He stood there before me, looking like an ordinary tramp, but there was something in the expression of his face which conveyed the impression that he was determined to get what he had come after. I had learned, from years of experience with men, that when a man really desires a thing so deeply that he is willing to stake his entire future on a single turn of the wheel in order to get it, he is sure to win.”
(the above is quoted from Think and Grow Rich, and is true).
I cannot tell you how many times in my life I’ve had people tell me that I “can’t” do something.
When I was young, I had a knack for many different things — except, of course the one thing everyone “wanted” me to do — which was be brilliant at “textbook academia” — — something which bored the living bejesus out of me immensely — except for history and Math, two subjects I loved, and naturally excelled at.
’Tis funny how many people think a “gilded” degree and a M.B.A, and other paper quals is what leads to success.
Don’t get me wrong — these things do lead to some form of success for some people, but it isn’t all it’s touted to be by far. In fact some of the folks you’d think would be the “happiest” when it comes to “outward success” are some of the most unhappy people you’ll ever meet.
This list includes movie stars, rich folks, and anyone that might externally look like “he’s REALLY made it”.
I speak about this more in Zero to Hero, including PROOF of why I believe this but for now, here are but a few things I was told I “couldn’t do” (either directly or indirectly).
“He thinks he’s so strong!” (when I was 10 years old). Followed by the unsaid “He can’t possibly, or he’ll never … ”
Or, when I was overweight in the past, a comment from one of my family members with a belly hanging over his pants — “you’re downright obese!”
How did both of those turn out? HA!
“You’ll never be able to play soccer!”
“Your singing is crap!” (this one wasn’t actually “said” but implied a bunch of times).
And so forth. Singing and soccer were two passions I had when I was young, but of course, the “I can’t” phrase was automatically attached to them as soon as I even mentioned then, which I then stopped doing.
“You’ll never be able to make good money!”
“Look at his CV! No-one will ever hire him!” (this from a family member back when I was working for a job I hated, and therefore LEFT).
And so forth — — and how did the above two turn out?
Anyway, the point of me telling you this ain’t to toot my own trumpet. Far from it, my friend. I’m no multi-millionaire — as yet — and I’d be telling you the same thing in the same manner I just did even if I was.
Point being, in all these cases, I didn’t “fight back” as often happens when someone makes these comments to you.
Comments that run deep — CUT deep — and STAY in your mind forever if you let them — and unfortunately our subconscious minds by default hold on to the negative forever in place of the positive if we don’t do anything to counter act this.
This is one main reason behind Claude Bristol’s “tap tap repetition” method he talks about so much in the “Magic of Believing“.
You have to constantly emphasize the positive to the subconscious while blocking out ALL the negative. As Napoleon Hill, ANY negativity dormant in your subconscious could prove to be fatal to your success — in any endeavor — much like that one bad apple can and usually does spoil the rest.
Anyway, back to them comments.
While it would have been easy to “fight back” and spend energy “pointing fingers” at those who made the comments (and truth be told, these people were not in the least bit qualified themselves to make said comments — if they were — they’d never have made ’em anyway!) — I didn’t.
I remained silent, with the hint of a smile on my lips — — and in most cases, if not all, an image of me giving the bird to whoever was saying said things.
And internally, here were my thoughts.
“Oh, really? Well, we’ll see about that in a few years time!”
But here’s the point — I did not SAY this aloud. As Napoleon Hill correctly said, tell the world what you’re going to do — but show them first!
I did — and the results are there for all to speak — and the reason I used this method of dealing with it is this — it gave me ADDITIONAL fire and impetus to go out there and achieve whatever goal it was I was trying to accomplish at the time — and achieve it I DID.
An even better way of dealing with said situation is this — simply smile, and say a HEARTFELT “Thanks!” to the person making these comments.
Once you do so, not only will you “disarm” the other person — but you’ll also have added emotion that will start to brew under the “pot of your goal” almost instantly — and will make it that much easier to reach said goal.
Now, in terms of fitness, you may ask?
Well, in terms of fitness what this means is this — if you’re truly obese, and someone points it out in a negative manner — simply do the above — and take it as a COMPLIMENT and added motivation to achieve your fitness goals.
Believe me, these same people that made said negative comments will be coming back and complimenting YOU in a short span of time — and it is at THAT point that you can silently sit back and smile again — because you DID it — just as you knew you COULD all along!
This same philosophy applies to ALL areas of life — not just fitness. I don’t care if you’re job hunting, trying to get a better salary, a promotion, find a better relationship, and so forth — “thanking” those that give you nothing but negativity is one of the BEST ways there is to rise UP — bar none!
Another excellent way to rise UP — up and above the rest — in terms of fitness — is to rise ABOVE the chinning bar, metamorphically speaking.
Believe me, when you’re pounding out pull-ups for reps — and tons of them per workout — in PERFECT form, then the WORLD will stop and gaze at YOU in awe — simply because you’re doing something that everyone wants to do (women included!) — but very few CAN — mostly because they haven’t been taught how to do.
Or perhaps because they’ve never been given the confidence that they CAN do.
My pathbreaking course on pull-ups addresses both the above concerns — including in depth analysis of what yours truly did on his way to a goal that once seemed it would NEVER happen — but happened quicker than he did — simply because he ENJOYED the journey and did it.
That course is available right here — — https://0excusesfitness.com/pull-ups-from-dud-to-stud-within-a-matter-of-weeks/ — — make sure you grab it ASAP.
Ok, thats all for now! Plenty of lessons to be learnt from today’s article — see if you can spot ’em all!
P.S. — A great, great example of countering the “I can’t” is what I did when I first started to climb the HILL — my favorite HILL — in China. Another great example is what I did when I first moved to China, but couldn’t find a chinning bar — that story alone is probably worth the “price” you pay for the course, hehe, and you’ll see what I mean when you read it. Here is where you can grab the System — https://0excusesfitness.com/0excusesfitnessystem/
P.S. #2 — Think you’re an advanced man — or woman — when it comes to pull-ups? Already banging them out in reps galore? Well, great — now let’s get to the REAL advanced stuff. Lets see you do some “Swami pull-ups“, for instance, in sets of 20 — or more! And if the above name confused you, well, I don’t blame you — but it’ll work the heck out of your entire upper body — that I DO gurantee. Here is where you can pick up a copy of the advanced course on pull-ups — — https://0excusesfitness.com/pull-ups-stud-to-super-stud-within-weeks/