Gym Shym

Rahul Mookerjee
7 min readJun 27, 2020

Well, I’ve made no secret of the fact that I think training in modern day gyms is, for the most part, utterly USELESS and a complete waste of your time, have I?

Nah. I didnt think so!

Not only do I NOT think lifting weights can often be counter productive in many cases, but I think that the SAME (if not WAY, WAY BETTER) results can be gotten in far less time by doing down to earth bodyweight workouts rather than bring out the weights, dumbphones, treadmills built apparently to hold your phone and coffee both (yes, I’ve seen people sipping on coffees during jogging workouts, and if there is anything more asinine than this I’m yet to see it!) . . .

In fact let me reword that.

I don’t think so. I KNOW So. And I should say way better period as opposed to the “same if not better”!

But it wasn’t always this way, my friend.

If you were to walk into an old timer’s gym, you’d see things that are very different from what we see today.

You’d see CHALK, sweat and DUST.

Chalk seems to have disappeared from most modern day gyms altogether, and while dust ain’t good, I’m not referring to dust as you know it. I’m referring to the “sweat and grime mixed in with chalk”. The sort of heavy duty sweating that went on when the old timers trained, lifting weights in a truly functional manner (and no the bench press ain’t it).

You’d see oddly shaped objects, and heavy ones at that.

You’d probably find oddly shaped barbells and gigantic beer barrels, and other hard to grip items such as sandbags.

And, if you were to move a bit closer to the future . . . maybe even kettlebells.

And you’d find guys doing pushups. Pull-ups. Handstand pushups. All of this ALONG with rope jumping and then, and only then, after getting good at the above would they move on to the real advanced stuff.

Compare all of that with the tomfoolery that passes for “training” in most modern day gyms . . .

Don’t believe me? Think old timers built all their strength using weights alone?

Well, lets look at what Doug Hepburn, Canadian strongman and the FIRST man in history to bench 500 pounds had to say . . .

I believe the king of all exercises is the bench press (for the triceps, lats,and the shoulder girdle) for pressing power (referring to regular grip bench preses) … however, I did get most of my pressing power from handstand presses [handstand push-ups] at which I did fifteen reps at a bodyweight of 245 pounds.

Canadian powerhouse Doug Hepburn! (and the first man in history to bench 500 lbs — drug free!)

So, which is the TRUE king?

Sure I could have edited the above quote to just show the part about handstand pushups, but I want YOU to read between the lines and decide who the TRUE winner is.

The handstand pushup, or the bench? I think the answer is very clear, and has been to me for ages now- and if after reading what Hepburn had to say it isn’t clear, then I suggest you get your eyesight (amongst) others checked my friend.

Doug Hepburn pouding out handstand pushups at over 300 lbs! So much for the “big guys” can’t do bodyweight exercises eh.

Anyway, do you know what the biggest problem is with modern day gyms — or “modern” (“scientific”) training methods for the most part?

It isn’t the retarded, ridiculous and asinine “pump’n’ tone” routines that most gyms and personal trainers advocate over REAL training routines that actually work and build an appreciable (or more) degree of health, fitness and strength — that lasts.

It isn’t the nonsensical bunny curls and “crunches” done on Swiss balls, yoga mats, the latest fancy gizmo from late night TV or perhaps even your recliner.

It isn’t even the “bro” culture that goes on in most modern day gyms — although that plays into what I’m about to say.

And though the injuries suffered from using utterly useless pieces of junk such as, for example, the pec deck (a prime example of a machine that only a human baboon on speed would think had any real use) or the millions of cables hanging around, or the “TRX” suspension system, or the lat pulldown (a sorry ass alternative to the real thing if even that) are real, they don’t take the #1 spot either.

Although all of this DOES rank high up in the pantheon of “biggest problems with today’s gyms and today’s training culture” — there is ONE thing that outranks ’em all, much like a 4 star General does.

What is it, you ask?

Well, it’s this, my friend — it’s that training the way most folks do — and training the way it’s done in the gyms is — quite frankly a MASSIVE, UTTER and sheer waste of precious time best utilized for other activities.

What do I mean?

Well, this morning a “Bro” that I spoke about in an earlier email or two was out there in the park with me.

I was about to start my pull-ups — 100 of ’em, and other things as well. But for whatever reason I felt compelled to start with pull-ups today, and so I did.

I did 5 slow and strict reps, stretching ALL The muscles in my back and shoulders as I did so. Ahhh … It felt great!!

The “bro” in the meanwhile was “loosening up” by moving his arms and legs in an awkward manner somewhat akin to a stork perched on top of a skyscraper.

Suddenly, a couple of other “bros” showed up, bellies in two, and the usual backslapping, hoo -haa, and meaningless banter started.

“Did you catch the latest flick in the halls? Wow, that babe sure looked good!”

“It’s always best to wake up in the morning and exercise” (this followed by a lengthy discussion over what time was best to workout — one that culminated in three dumb-phones being pulled out to end the debate — if it ever did).

By this time I had got done with 15 pull-ups.

The other two bros spotted a couple of chicks walking in the park, and decided to make off after them. Off they went in a slow, ponderous manner of recalcitrant hippos being forced to vacate their favorite “watering spot” if you get my drift …

Our first bro starts to get “ready”.

He flexes his arms. Looks at his biceps. Stretches his chest and makes a few primal sounds.

By this time I was done with about 22 pull-ups and was doing dead hangs. 8 o r so minutes had likely elapsed.

He then cast a few furtive glances at me and jumped up to the monkey bars.

Could barely hold on, and he made an expression of sheer “effort” (not) and kicked himself up to a few quarter-ass reps on the bars before collapsing and heading straight for his towel and smartphone.

This “workout” continued for at least 20 minutes, by which time I was WELL, WELL, into my own routine — and he had probably completed like 8–10 pull-ups done in the style I mentioned.

And as I walked off to another area of the park, the two other bros showed up again …

Now, I mention all this not simply to “carp” upon that dude or even to “just rant” — but because this sort of thing is commonplace, my friend.

Folks furiously claim they have no time to workout, and yet when they do — whats the first thing they do?

You got it — they WASTE time — and oodles of it.

And of course, when you tell these same people that you can literally get a full body whoop-ass workout in LESS than 15 minutes (or even 8 minutes when you begin) — they are the first to claim otherwise.

Hmmmm…. !

In the military they teach you to pack with an economy of space. To move through the jungles with a minimum of noise — and sneak up behind the enemy before they know it. All within the blink of an eye no less.

In the 0 Excuses Fitness System I port this attitude over towards fitness, my friend.

My exercises and routines do NOT take forever — in fact, they require a MINIMAL (very so) investment of time.

My routines require NO equipment. No gadgets either.

My routines have you breathing naturally — and moving like a jungle cat from exercise to exercise — so quickly that you’re blitzed before you know it — and the fat is dripping off you nineteen to the dozen as well.

Most of all though, and again, my routines ensure you don’t WASTE time — as we all have precious little of it, my friend.

So drop the time wasting “take 10 minutes break between sets” routines that are all the rage in today’s gyms, my friend.

Drop the backslapping — at least when you’re training. Ditch the dumbphones. Resist the urge to pump, preen, pose and “tone” in front of the mirror for that perfect selfie.

All of it does NOTHING to advance you along to your goals.

Instead, train the 0 Excuses way — and get done with your workout in less than 15 minutes or more if you so choose — and then get on with the selfie clicking and life in general.

I guaran-damn-tee you — you’ll feel a heck of a lot better for doing so!

Best,

Rahul Mookerjee

P.S. — Still don’t believe me? Still don’t think you can get a ball buster of a workout in less than 15 minutes? Well, watch the 250 workout for starters — — available right HERE — — https://0excusesfitness.com/0excusesfitnessystem/

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Rahul Mookerjee

Writer, fitness fanatic and entrepreneur. Sign up for FREE email tips on fitness and life HERE — https://0excusesfitness.com/free-newsletter/